Beautiful.Mind.Life

And I’m going back.

Yeahooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reading the few previous posts, you will not be surprised of how mushy this post will be.

Facebook doesn’t seem to work properly on her side, and Gtalk looks certain to be my enemy for the past few days until today. Skype won’t work either, due to the tragically bad internet reception.

And I just have to line up behind several thousands human beings here, every time my heart’s pounding hard as though it will explode, signaling me to call her.

Seven straight days, doing nothing, brings me to my own artificial world. Where she runs and I chase. She flies and I wave. And when she smiles and I say:

“I love you.”

Oh, dear. I know that every time I was with you, never once those words came out. And even if they do, it was when I was singing songs for you. Never once I say that I miss you, though you always ask, seeking for the answer that will surely mesmerize you. The answers have always been the opposite. But you always keep your calm, with your pretty smile, as if comforting yourself that the answer was a complete lie.

The answers were, indeed, lies.

I always miss you. You are always here, hugging my heart tight. Your smiles filled each and every inch of my empty space. No matter how far I left you behind, or you left me, I can still smell the beautiful scent of your skin. I can still feel your soft touch. And I can still feel the warmth of your hug. That tight, full of love, hug.

You’re the shine of my sun. You’re the sand of my beach. You’re the breeze of my nights. You’re the soul of my heart. Oh Heaven, take me before I lose you, for I will not be strong enough to bear a life without you by my side.

You complete me.

And for that, I give you my whole life and love in return.

I love you, sayang. You’re my one true ‘sincerus’.

PS: And for God’s sake, I miss you so damn much!

Tatkala wujudnya cahaya matahari, kau menyepi.

Dan ketika berlabuh tirai suria, malam menjelma, engkau tiba.

Mengekori lirikan mata, menjaluri lukisan minda.

Meresahkan hati, meruntun jiwa.

Ah bosannya standby kat offshore!

I was never a fan of Malay novels. I was never a fan of Ahadiat Akashah. And I was never a fan of romance novel, depicting a story of a man with a great heart and truthfully loyal to his partner, regardless of what comes between them, for years and years.

To me, this man only exists in novels and movies. Even the girl, she can only be true in books and motion pictures. Like Lagenda Budak Setan.

I did not understand why the recently released movie ‘Lagenda Budak Setan’, based on the storyline of a novel (there were few sequels of the novel, actually) written by Ahadiat Akashah in the late ’80s, became a huge hype. Everyone’s talking about it. In the office, in the warehouse, in the coffee shop, during breakfast and lunch, and even now and here, tea time in the galley, 345km away from Malaysian East Coast shore.

What is it with this story?

I haven’t seen the movie. I’ve seen the book years ago, but was never interested to read it. Not to say that I prefer international authors like John Grisham, Sidney Sheldon and Dan Brown. I just think that Malaysia’s romance novels are pathetic. They focused too much on love, they forgot to describe the surroundings, which makes it hard to visualize the image in my head. Have any of you read IT by Stephen King or DA VINCI CODE by Dan Brown? Have you noticed how the authors describe the surroundings? Makes you feel exactly in the shoes of Robert Langdon? Try KING OF TORTS by John Grisham, and a hate-to-be-a-lawyer person like myself suddenly thinks that law is not a bad field to jump in at all.

Since the hype was tremendous, I couldn’t help myself but to buy the novel (I just don’t have time to watch the movie). The fact that I usually read first before deciding to watch the movie (like I did with Da Vinci Code, Angels an Demons, IT, and The 13th Warrior) is because I don’t want to miss any detail skipped by the movie director. I’ve got the book a day before I had to fly here (offshore). I’ve decided to bring the book along with me, so I will have something to do to kill time if I may need to standby (which was a great idea. I’ve been standing by here, waiting for my job to start, for already 4 days, doing relatively nothing).

And I finished the 662-page novel within a day. It took my a week to finish a 343-page To Kill A Mockingbird.

Ahadiat Akashah’s language, observations, descriptions, imaginations, storyline are typically poor. Far behind anyone else I’ve mentioned in this post. But somehow, this novel touched me. It makes me feel so fragile, so vulnerable. It makes me think deeply that, what will happen if I lose my wife? It makes me understand that apart from death, there are so many ways I can lose my loved ones. It makes me realize that even if I know for sure that my partner will never stop loving me, never ever had any feeling towards any other man, I can still lose her.

The storyline is simple. He likes here. She likes him too. And at the end of the story, they got married. But everything that happens in between was horrific, tragic (and unbelievable to some) and, well… amazingly, sad. It somehow managed to make me feel like I need to watch the movie. Hahaha…

Well, if you guys want to read it, do ignore everything about the way he writes. Just focus on the story. Yup, the story, as I said, can only be happening in books, where creative human mind creates it, but surely, it can actually makes you realize a lot of things. A lot.

PS: Jiwang? Sekali-sekala…

Not during the day, though. It’s already 20:20 in the evening.

I guess one day, Imran will be a great engineer, as he starts very, very early.

PS: Oh by the way, note the sticky notes on the wall behind us. That’s my to-do notes in July 2010, and hasn’t been updated for two weeks. Sigh~